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Becoming A Mum Of Two

Before Tommy was born I must say I didn't think much about the practicalities of going from having one child too two. We have a 4 year age gap between him and Oliver therefore I didn't have to think about buying a double pushchair or having to mange two children in nappies. Tommy seemed to just fit into our lifes without to much upheaval. Of coarse there can be difficult days and it takes twice as long to get anywhere but in general going from one child too two  was quite a smooth transition.

There is a few things I've noticed about how my parenting style changed the second time round and little things that helped the transition.

More Relaxed 

My parenting attitude has definitely been much more relaxed this time round. I've stressed less about routine, milestones and the what the health visitor had to say.  I've never read any parenting books and been much more confident in trusting my own instincts as a mother. Being more relaxed had definitely been the biggest change I have noticed. 

Your Newborn Will Fit Into Your Lifestyle 

Especially during those early newborn days when Tommy would sleep for hours on end (he would nap for up to 5 hours during the day) I found we where able just to carry on with our usual routines as we would before just with a parm in tow. Oliver continued to go to nursery and all his usual classes and activities as normal which I think helped him to adapt to having a new sibling. 

Watching Siblings Bond Is The Most Wonderful Thing

One of my most cherished memories is when Oliver came to meet his brother for the first time. Seeing the look on his face was wonderful. He has always been very caring and pacient with Tommy. The first thing he says when we collect him from school is "I missed Tommy today" and am sure Tommy feels the same way about him. Watching them laugh and play together is my favourite thing and a feeling like no other.

Savour The Moment 

With my first baby I was always thinking about his next step and what he should be learning/achieving  and when. I did a lot of comparing him to other babies his age and worried if I felt he was lacking behind. With Tommy I've savoured every stage,  I cherished hmthe tiny newborn stage and I've been in no rush for him to achieve the next step. It is partly because I know he is our last baby and  knowing how quickly the years fly in and before I know it he will be starting school! I've written a little more about this in a separate post you can read here

One On One Time Is Important 

I think spending  one on one time with each of boys is so important. With Tommy it's easier to give him more individual attention as Oliver is at school now therfore he gets Me or his Dad all to himselve for two days each week. Its nice to have this time with him to take him to groups and classes or just spend time at home together. Its a little tricker with Oliver but I do try to make an effort to take him for  a day out just me and him every couple of months. We usually do something like the cinema or go an adventure play ground then for lunch. He is very good company and I love the little chats we have.

My words to anyone wondering how they will adapt to having a second is that it will probably be easier than you think!

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